Sorry!

Hey guys,

I'm sorry if some of you are receiving my postings twice from here and from Word Press. I'm having trouble linking the feed to my Empire Avenue account, so while I want to move everything over to Word Press, I'll have to post it twice both here and there.

So if you're following me, please unfollow on one side so you don't get the posts twice - sorry for the inconvenience caused, thanks for reading again!

xoxo
J

When I Was Ugly

I remember when I was 13 and utterly self-conscious of my body. I was a skinny, gangly kid with long hair, worn way past my waist – with sticks for legs, and my frame was totally boyish. I was a late bloomer.

The idea of wearing a bikini was beyond me. I was so painfully shy, I couldn’t imagine revealing so much of my body that way. I thought I looked terrible and everyone would be laughing.

I also hated taking pictures, and being captured on video killed me. I would never look at them again, and every time I did I was so critical of how I looked that I always looked horrible to myself. I was too skinny, my hair was too messy, my teeth was crooked, my lips too big – it was never ending.

Maybe it is that way when people go through their teenage years, but I took that feeling of self-criticism all the way to my mid-twenties. I never thought I was good enough and of course, everything that I saw about myself, affirmed the exact way I felt about me.

By the time I was in my twenties, I was too fat, my face too round, my eyes too small, my clothes too tight; that was what I saw in those photos. The reasons for self-detestation may be different, but the underlying story remained unchanged – I still didn’t like who I saw.

It’s funny, but I found all these photos and videos again now as I was house-moving; and I wondered how I could have thought that girl in the photos was anything but beautiful.

It was fascinating when I was sitting there sifting through all my old photos – remembering how disgusted I felt looking at them over 10 years ago, and marveling at the total change in the way I see myself now in those same photos.

The photos didn’t change. The way I saw myself changed, and that changes everything.

It’s my reminder for me that I see the world as I am, I don’t see the world as it is. And if I wanted something to change in my world, I need look no further than to just change the way I see it. That was a simple and powerful affirmation on how I, and I alone, have the power to change anything in my life.

And for that, I am truly grateful.

So when you find yourself criticizing – take a pause, and be a little kinder. There is a difference between criticizing and recognizing, the former terminates possibilities and options; while the latter opens them up for you to make a different choice. This holds true whether it’s your relationship with you, with another, or with the world.

Be acutely aware on how you are seeing, because it is your quickest indication on how you are being.

Namaste. xoxo

Lessons From Con-Men

I started working for money at 18. That age marked the beginning of one of the darkest, yet most educational, periods of my life.

Working in bars and entertainment outlets while going through college, I met men of all ages, all backgrounds, and with all sorts of intentions.

There were the distraught husbands in bad marriages that they don’t want to fix. The cheating husbands that came in at 7pm for dinner with their wives, left at 9pm, and came back again at 11pm with their mistresses.

The pushers who will try to sell you anything and everything for that one elusive high. The corporate yuppies who wanted to just drink down a bad day at work and forget for a couple of hours, that they have to get back to that same bleak existence the next morning.

The jocks who just jostled the whole night at the foosball tables. The freeloaders that come in with their rich friends, polishing off bottle after bottle but slinking away to the loo when the bill folder arrives. The smooth shooters hanging at the pool tables, chugging their beers, chalking their cues and playing for “winners’ stay” all night long.

The players who dress like they walked out of a GQ cover, dropping the same cheesy pick-up lines that for some bizarre reason, works every time – or maybe it’s just the really nice cars the valet brings them that seals the deal with pretty young things night after night.

The young boys that just graduated into this seemingly exciting and mysterious adult world, acting macho and downing alcohol by the bottle – swiping for the bill with their daddy’s supplementary credit cards.

The expat trying to kill another lonely night away from their homeland far away. And the VIPs with their bulky bodyguards, sitting alone, sipping wine, smoking a cigar and watching the crowd.
I met them all. Some, became my friends – and followed me from joint to joint as I changed jobs. And some, once they got to the point where they realized I am not susceptible to their romantic advances (being in a relationship that whole period) – turned me into a drinking buddy/ confidante instead.

While some, offered me job opportunities in their companies or businesses. And one day, fed up with the dead-end vicious cycle of the relentlessly mind-numbing entertainment circuit, I took up one of the offers from a VIP that prospected me for 6 months to work in his trading firm. Always, he is in a 3-piece-suit, something that is decidedly hard to do in the mucky tropical Malaysian weather; with a bodyguard shadowing him, and a driver dropping him off at the bar by 5pm every other day.

He took to having conversations with me, and soon started to pursue me to work for him. He owned a trading firm and was relentless in his approach. And one day I agreed – deciding to walk away forever from the entertainment scene to pursue my financial dreams working with this man.

The first day of work at his luxurious office in downtown KL, he gave me an office with a wrap-around window view. He taught me the trade – how to read graphs, charts, indices, market trends. He showed me how to lead prospects themselves to close the deal for me. And soon I brought in enough revenue for him that he made me the head of department, managing a group of men at least 2 decades older than me – who’ll have to report to me monthly.

I was still only 22 then and dying to own the world. I was fearless, impressionable, gullible, and ambitious. I started out broke and so was driven to work really hard, and on such bad terms with my family then that I haven’t had a proper conversation with my dad in 2 years. I wanted to do it all, to prove that I had what it takes to succeed in a world dominated by men, and I thought I could do it alone. I was arrogant. I was blinded by the money I was making and jaded by the company I was keeping.

And as I learned from this chapter of my young life – all that, made for a very dangerous combination. And one day, the time bomb of inexperience exploded.

In less than a year I worked there, the outfit was shut down by the authorities. I walked straight into it reporting to work one morning, finding out from my PA that the Directors were all not contactable, turning around to see the enforcement agents from the Securities Department crashing in and confiscating everything in sight. I spent the whole day being interrogated. All my clients’ money got frozen with the company’s bank account. Only after 7 years was the case finally closed – when they found one of the Directors and put him in jail. When I received that letter in the mail, I broke down and cried.

That was one of the most unnerving experiences in my life. I was so traumatized. I started questioning my own lack of judgment. And for the next 5 years, I spiraled into a life of mediocrity – afraid, so afraid of my ambitions to be wealthy – wanting only to be in a safe job with a legit company. Trying to reinstate my own self-worth. It didn’t matter that I took a massive pay-cut. I didn’t want any of it. To me at that moment, money was evil. Men were evil. I was racked with guilt.
I spent years trying to rebuild relationships with the people who trusted me but got hurt in this incident.

But now, I’ve forgiven myself and that man too. I look back now and I realize that it was an extremely valuable experience – especially in the arena of learning about myself and human psychology. That chapter has closed for me, but the lessons I’ve learned from that period – would serve me for the rest of my life:

1. Do not be impressed easily – look for the substance, not just the form in all you encounter
3-piece Armani suits, nice, flashy sports cars, VIP reservations at all the best joints in town, fine dining, cash splashing, drivers and bodyguards, dinners and gifts, posh offices and beautiful homes; I love these things – but this experience taught me to see the difference between the authentic and the sincere. It’s not the stuff, it’s who’s showing you all these stuff – and why. Heed your instincts, they won’t lead you wrong.

2. A fool and his money will always be parted
I don’t need to deliberate on this, but I have had first-hand training on how to cajole money out of someone by having him/ her suggest it too. Seeing this in action is fascinating and scary at the same time, and I had issues beating myself up for learning and using these tactics while I was working there. But now I see that everyone is responsible for their own decisions, and mine is to operate with the highest level of integrity, while being aware of all these tactics in the market. Greed is the biggest factor why someone ends up being conned. Be wary of anything that sounds too good to be true, do your own due diligence, and seek third-party counsel before making decisions in areas you are unfamiliar with.

3. There is no such thing as a short-cut to success
Ah. The delusion of all gamblers and con-men, wanting to get a better deal from the world. Being only willing to pay $1, yet expecting $100 return; work an hour but be paid for 10. There is no such thing. Taking short-cuts cost a price dearer than gold – your character, and self-respect. And it gets you nowhere worthwhile for very long.

4. Be in possession of your own mind
You know all the jazz about NLP, mind influence, etc? Well, take full responsibility for your own decisions and thoughts, and you’ll never have to worry about someone influencing you to do something that is detrimental to you. Everyone and everything in your daily life IS trying to influence you, you can’t avoid it. So don’t be a passive about this – own your thoughts! It’s 100% your call, all the time.

5. Stand for what you believe in
So shit happens. My con-men Directors disappears, I’m next-in-command, and the shit’s hitting the fan. And yeah, I was still 22 – but by then I was feeling 52. So what? Deal with all the mess you find yourself in in a manner that you won’t regret. Stand up to it, and fight for what you believe in. Own up if you made a mistake – face up to those you indirectly wronged. I learned that it’s not your gender or age that determines whether you’re strong or not – it’s your values and the courage to stand for what is right when it’s the toughest to do so. It’s about whether you’ll walk the right path, even if you have to walk it alone. And that’s a choice and it’s always worth it to take the higher path.

6. Learn from every experience
This was probably the only way I could pick myself up, move on & make different choices that can move my life forward. This philosophy is now indelibly ingrained onto my soul because of painful experiences like these. And truly, for that, I am grateful.

Sometimes, like tonight, I wonder what became of these men. I hope they are well and have found their peace. I still believe in the inherent goodness of people, probably more now than I ever did before, even after experiences like this.

It is a beautiful thing that the human condition is so varied, textured, and rich with both positive and negative experiences – offering us the opportunity to make different choices, in the pursuit of defining who we really are.

So, if you’re in a position where you felt that someone did wrong by you, or you felt that you did wrong by someone – find the graciousness in your heart to forgive, but forget not the lesson it has wrapped within.

Without fail, our biggest trials are truly our biggest gifts, just choose to see them as such and you’ll see that it is true. And whether it accelerates your personal growth or stunt it, that is your call – therein lies the magic of each of our lives.

xoxo

Moving to WordPress!

Hey guys,

Just a quick note to let you guys know that I'm moving my entire blog home to WordPress.

So if you're following me now, would appreciate if you guys follow via there from now on.

The forwarding link http://www.JamieLoh.com should be activated in a couple of hours, but in the meantime, you can also use this link: https://jlohadvocacy.wordpress.com/

Thanks so much for reading my work! See you on the other side!

xoxo
Jamie

The Art Of Flirting

So, I was at a couple of singles party in the last few months, accompanying a girlfriend who's scouting the local scene for any potential hot, rich, intelligent, compassionate, humanitarian male bachelor - who will make a great husband and dad, with a fabulously understanding mom that's not big on scrutinizing all the shortcomings of her future daughter-in-law.

Result: He don't exist. At least maybe not in KL.

Ok maybe we haven't looked long & hard enough.

But seriously. That singles scene. I don't get it.

Hang on. Let me get some personal facts straight first.

#1: I am happily single
#2: I am not looking
#3: I am uninterested in the marriage & kids finale
#4: I don't buy into the biological clock story, and...
#5: I don't feel any moral/ filial obligation to provide grandkids (my parents have now pinned their hopes on my 3 younger siblings.)

I'm 32, going on 23. And most of my girlfriends are around the same age, except that most of them are only growing older in their minds. A majority of them are comfortably nestled at home, in between babies, hubbies, pets, domestication and careers (I salute); and the few that are not are generally in 2 camps - camp 1 is where i am (see above 5 points) and camp 2 is the ones where they are needing, yes, needing to get into the majority. And no, I am not being offensive. Just factual.

And although I would never understand them, as they probably would never understand me; I kinda get it...in a mental way, that desire to make a home with a mate. Before their eggs run out.

So. Back to the point of this post & story. Why am I writing this at all?

Well, because being at those singles' parties have been a bizarre experience for me. Why? Well, since I'm there as a companion, I refuse to turn into a competitor (to the other chicks), so the majority of my time there is spent watching the proceedings. And you know what I noticed? No one there seems to know how to actually flirt effectively.

Yup. I said it now. If I am shot dead tomorrow you'll know why.

People think that attraction and finding the love of your life is like an act of destiny, that fireworks will happen the moment you lay eyes on the *one*, and hence with a minimal amount of mutual conversational exchange, you just have to do the scene enough and one momentous day, at one fated moment, you will bump into the *one*, exchange some shy glances, fumble up with each other on the dance floor dancing to some slow number, meet the parents - get married and live happily ever after.

Sorry. That's only in the movies. And that formula of it being a numbers game, that's only for business.

When it comes to romance, attraction, chemistry and physical heat - it all starts in the mind. Literally.

And nothing is more attractive & sexy than a witty mind, wrapped in a well-turned out body - delivering comments with the same measure of poise and lighthearted jest; in passing conversations that you wish would last just a little bit longer.

You're at a singles party guys. Mingle, converse, connect, smile, laugh, flirt! And when I say flirt, I don't mean bat your eyelashes, dress like a tramp, or do a lap dance on the guy. And lads, I seriously don't mean dropping cheesy pick-up lines, being overly touchy, or telling the girls how amazingly capable you are, in all capacities.

I mean, be intelligent, be present, be attentive, be real, be fun, be YOU! Smile & shine baby! And do everyone a favor - don't curse, get drunk, smoke, shout, play incessantly with your iPhone/ BB, or get on the bar top.

Flirting is not some complex art that needs to be demystified. It's just an act of showing someone you like them more than friends in a fun way, and maybe might want to get to know them more. And masterful flirting is doing all that without looking like you're flirting at all.

It's just attractive because you're finding someone else attractive and showing him/ her in a genuine, natural way.

So, have conversations like you would just like any other, except that you do have to show that you're attracted to the person you are talking to. Listen, ask questions about them, look into their eyes, lean forward. Geddit? And if you want to see that person again, just ask for the digits.

Drop all the cheesy pick-up lines about the stars in her eyes, and the heavens missing an angel etc (I'll probably do another post later on the ones I've gotten) - and just ask for it. "Hey, i really like you, can I see you again?" Try it, it's not gonna kill you. I haven't seen anyone really doing that at all the singles' party I've been to.

So in a nutshell - be gracious and subtle, and if you really like someone you met - get to the point. How else are you going to move this thing forward if you want to eventually get married?

Or if all else fails, just engage a professional dating agency. Or Facebook. My sis met her fiancee there, and I haven't seen any couple happier. :)

But if you're gonna be doing the singles' party scene....please, read this post before you go. It might help.

Some final pointers on stuff I noticed that drove me nuts: Ladies - shave your legs and underarms, and wear the g-string, not the granma panties. Guys - match your socks, clean your nails, don't do a deodorant overkill or fiddle with your crotch.

How do I know all this? I read a lot. Meow. ;)

The Poetry Series - Exhibit #1

I moved again to another place. A new home, and it's beautiful. A perfect fit for my spirit. Will post some pix up for you guys once its ready.

While moving, I again found some old scribblings - a bunch of poetry I wrote when I was younger. Reading them now made me realized that I have come a bit of a way, experiencing much darkness and pain in those years. Poetry helped me deal with those emotions - as a channel for release.

Now I can recognize that those experiences were all self-inflicted, but it was a part of me and I can't deny who I was; for without being there, I would not now be here in a much happier and enlightened space.

The darkness only made me appreciate the light I live in these days. So I've decided to log them all down in my blog as a series of poems under one title (Encapsulation of Pain); for posterity and a reminder that; to be a woman, one must first be a girl - to understand love, one must first embrace pain. And that it is ok. :)

I hope you'll enjoy them as I post them out.

To you, to life, and to love!

Encapsulation of Pain Series:
Poem #1: Journey Across The Desert of Love.

The plains of a barren soul,
mock me,
every step of the way,
the sun beats,
its scorching rays.
The heart sways,
the body bleeds.

Swirling waters,
offer no reprieve,
instead it pulls,
the mind deep;
where chaos reign,
and blood stains,
a white sheet,
once clean.

Golden shades,
and jovial play,
is now but a memory;
of happier days.

- Jamie Loh, 14 October 2004.

The Poetry Series - Exhibit #3

Encapsulation of Pain Series:
Poem #3: Sinking

Whither I wonder
Joy has flown?
Dragged me asunder
With sighs and moans.

- Jamie Loh, 16 December 2005

The Poetry Series - Exhibit #2

Encapsulation of Pain Series:
Poem #2: Despair

I have given up
The many beaten path
To risk my heart
And challenge destiny's chart
Seeking for love
While wading through pain
On days like these
I wish
for more familiar plains.

- Jamie Loh, 12 February 2005

Book 1, Page 115

One of my favorite paragraphs from Conversations With God, Book 1 by Neale Donald Walsch:

"Seek not to make of your love a glue that binds, but rather, a magnet that first attracts, then turns and repels, lest those who are attracted begin to believe they must stick to you to survive. Nothing could be further away from the truth. Nothing could be more damaging to another. Let your love propel your beloveds into the world - and into the full experience of who they are. In this, will you have truly loved."

So, how do you love?

Truly loving is about empowering the one you love - not to be forever in love with you, but to fall in love with who they really are.

That's what we're really here for - to cause another to see the beauty of their existence, mirrored back to them, in our eyes.

And then, projected back to the world as a gift, by leaving many indentations in the universe; each stating that - yes, because they existed, lived, & loved - the world was made more beautiful.

And that is the truth. The world is more beautiful because you are here. Now be here, and be love.

Namaste.

xoxo
Jamie

PS: And yes, if you're ready to challenge some personal beliefs about all manner of topics; pick up all 3 Conversation With God books by the above author. I do advocate them. You can get them here: http://amzn.to/uqXhDv

Transforming Regrets - for my brother.

I rarely ever regret anything. But my biggest regret is that my chain smoking and alcohol-abuse in the past set an example for my baby brother to follow. I’m writing this for him before it’s too late.

He’s 6 years younger than me, very good looking, intelligent and sharp. He dropped by my place this morning to pick up some stuff so we got to chatting. He was telling me that he was waking up everyday with lots of phlegm and facing breathing problems because of smoking. He’s only 26 with the whole world in front of him. He tried quitting but kept going back to it after a couple of days.

He asked me how I did it 3 years ago.

Well, I decided that I was worth it. And I got information, made a plan, prepared for it and then just followed through. I quit on 1st March 2009. Before that I must have tried quitting over 7 times.

People tell me that I am so disciplined and that my willpower is so strong. I believe that is true for everyone if they dig deep enough to discover why they are doing what they are doing. Smokers are disciplined about smoking every couple of hours right? So it’s just a mindset. Just get disciplined about another discipline and then you’ll find that it really ain’t that hard.

Because being disciplined is just choosing consistently the same activity to back up a commitment. The real reason for my stickability to achieve my quit smoking goal is that I was sick of being sick. And sick of being a slave to a toxic substance. And I was a slave – 2 packs a day for the better part of 11 years.

My new commitment to myself was to be well. That replaced the old commitment I held about being a smoker.

I was also unemotional about it. I looked at my body like it was a machine – and did what i needed to do to hard reset it to a much better working condition. If you’re a heavy smoker or been addicted to any substances before you’ll understand what withdrawal symptoms really are – and if you don’t get a hold over your emotions and find some mental anchor to hold on to when your body is racking hell when you quit – it’s going to be so much tougher to get through it.

Non-abusers can never really understand. So yes, I get it. You feel like dying. But that’s better than actually getting to the point that you have to die because of your addiction. And die painfully too.

Think of your body as a machine and maybe it would make as much sense to you as it did for me. You can program and reprogram it. And that’s what quitting a toxic substance is about. It’s a reprogramming of your system. And the process to reprogram it will mean a lot of changes and clearing – there’s no other way.

So here’s what actually happens when you take nicotine into your system. Besides the tens of thousands of toxins that is deposited into your system with every drag – what it actually does is it incapacitates your brain’s ability to produce a naturally-occurring chemical substance in your brain called “Dopamine”. Dopamine is released by our brains naturally to help calm us down when we are stressed, help us focus and generally just relax us.

So your body is smart. When you took your first cigarette it reacted violently to this unnatural and very toxic substance – and when you continued taking it, it adapted to it, and finally, it found a way to make use of it.

The nicotine is a trigger for the production of more dopamine, so your body decided to stop its own production efforts, channeling it instead now to other more pressing needs in other parts of your body (like detoxing now obviously), and just trigger a notice to you in the form of a craving every 30 minutes or so when the dopamine levels in your brain goes lower. And the cravings gets more and more urgent the longer you do not respond to it.

Trust me, I know the feeling. I walked out for about 20 minutes by myself at 3am before years ago when I had a cigarette and no way of lighting it – looking for a lighter. I was almost at the state of panic. That’s actually your brain’s defense mechanism to “protect” you based on the programming you’ve installed in it up to date. Which is nicotine dependent for the nicotine addict.

So in short, the point is to get your brain to start producing its own dopamine again. And to do that, a hard reset is required. That means give it no more nicotine – and your brain will eventually restart its own production of dopamine again.

Here’s some tips that helped me:

1. Total cold turkey from nicotine.
That philosophy worked best for me. That means no nicotine replacement products like gums, patches etc. This forced my brains to get back to work producing its own dopamine faster. A bit more drastic but hey I’d rather get it done faster than slower.

2. Understanding & mentally preparing for the withdrawal symptoms.
The first 3 days will be your worst withdrawal symptoms ever, and the next 7 days your body will go through some massive cleansing so you really won’t feel very well. Healing crisis also starts to happen, means you will smell as your body excrete nicotine from your blood stream, dizziness, migraines, fatigue, etc. But this is normal and necessary – I didn’t know that before so I always caved in around day 4-5 of the quit.

3. Conquering cravings
Another important tip: the craving will be at its most urgent for the first 3 minutes, and then it will subside. It will also be more frequent in the first 3-10 days, and then it really gets less and less, till you don’t get any cravings anymore. That’s just the way your body tries to get you to consume nicotine. Deal with it by drinking water, sucking on gels, etc. Do whatever as long as you don’t inhale nicotine. My mantra that whole time while I was quitting was “I won’t put nicotine into my bloodstream.” It wasn’t even about having a cigarette. That made a lot more sense to me & was a stronger commitment to uphold.

4. Rest
If you can, take 5-7 days off and stay home to rest, sleep, detox and drink lots of water. This was critical to me as my body was being readjusted. It really gets a lot harder if you have to try and operate normally when you are quitting.

5. Prepare
You can never win a war if you don’t plan and prepare for it. My style is to get mental anchors to hold on to – if i can understand something, I can commit to it. So my striving has always been to learn and understand more on the whys and the whats – this website truly helped me get through the whole quitting period, what i’ve written here is my understanding of the facts on this site: www.whyquit.com - please, check it out. You might find other more relevant pieces of info to help you better.

6. Incremental Progress
Say no – one cigarette at a time. Understand that there will always be people who smoke around you – so there’s no way you can avoid the urges and offers. Don’t avoid it. Face it and master it. It’s much simpler to take it one decision at a time.

One of the best decisions I ever made was to quit smoking. I don’t have to stress on how much I have benefited health-wise. That’s pretty common knowledge.

The real gift was the self-empowerment I achieved for myself by mastering an addiction, and the new-found respect I developed for my body as a miraculous machine, able to heal and regenerate itself without limit.

The absolute knowing that there will always exist in my decision the possibility to transform, grow, heal, and be better – no matter how bad any situation is.

Because with that knowledge comes real joy and real power. That’s what I want for my brother to experience.

And that’s what I want for anyone struggling with addictions of any sort - whether of the body, mind, or spirit.

It is within all our reach – just make the same decision every single time.

Jamie
XOXO

PS: Reminder - please visit & pass on this site: www.WhyQuit.com. Thanks & be blessed!

Dry your eyes...

Why doth you cry,
For a heart that would not trust,
For promises to only try;
Or a love that never was?

~ Jamie Loh

A love poem from the Japanese...

One for the elusive, tender, memories of a once exquisite love.

***

From the beginning,
I knew meeting could only
End in parting, yet
I ignored the coming dawn,
And I gave myself to you.

~ Fujiwara no Teika

Extracted from Kenneth Rexroth book "Love Poems from the Japanese."

***

A prayer that can save the world...

You know how things just come to you when you most need to hear it?

Here's one that came to me a long time ago when going through some rough patches in my life and once again it reveals itself to me when I was cleaning out my study recently. A blessed reminder.

Now it's printed out & stuck onto the notice board in my kitchen - right where I make my morning tea, so I read it first thing in the morning, while waiting for the water to boil.

Let these words flow over you, feel its truth in every fiber of your being, and, the joyful knowing that you do make a difference warm your heart.

No matter how bleak situations may be, no matter who you call your Creator, there is unlimited love, beauty & wisdom in each human soul - and a prayer like this manifest in each of us can truly save the world.

Namaste & God bless. xoxo

*******

Mother Theresa's Prayer

Lord, make me a channel of Thy peace, that,
Where there is hatred, I may bring love;
That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;
That where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
That where there is error, I may bring truth;
That where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
That where there is despair, I may bring hope;
That where there are shadows, I may bring light;
That where there is sadness, I may bring joy.
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
To understand than to be understood;
To love than to be loved.
For it is by forgetting self that one finds;
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven;
It is by dying that one awakes to eternal life.

*******

Mortal Love

Cleaning out my house today & clearing a whole load of clutter. Found some stuff I wrote long ago and came across this poem. It was actually published in a coffee table poetry book back in 2002 by an American publisher. Must have wrote this when I was heartbroken ;)

Enjoy. xoxo

***

Mortal Love

A time of doubt ~ a mind of fears,
Confused and caught ~ compelled to tears,
Decisions a flood ~ conclusions rare;
A streak of blood ~ the devil’s dare.

Seek your heart, and seek the truth,
Fulfill the part, a true love would,
For Cupid’s aim is straight to mark;
A mortal maimed hath a weakened heart.

Once it’s given, forever it’s gone,
Love is then craven, not to be mourned,
Seek the angel and free the wings;
At the end of the tunnel, your soul may sing.

Rare it be to strike the nerve,
You caused it for me;
This mortal’s love.

Copyright © 2002 Jamie Loh

Abraham-Hicks

Here's something a little way out there that I advocate. Wanna learn some ringing wisdoms, read their work. Keep your focus on their content and care not where it comes from.

Truth has an uncanny way of touching your soul if you would be open and just listen with every cell of your being.

Here's an example of their work:-

"It is your rules that make unlawful beings. You would get along better if you would just trust each other to treat each other appropriately, but you don't. So you keep making laws — until you make criminals of everyone." ~ Abraham

You can find them online here

Their words have carried me through many a dark night - and I give thanks.

Namaste!

The things that Singaporeans do...

Hey y'all, am back in Singapore for 3 nights of back-to-back business events and actually have some time out this time to myself so I thought I'll plug in this post, on a topic I've been meaning to share with you guys for awhile now.

When i get on the road, I'm the sort of traveler that drives most tour guides nuts, since I like to stop, stare, shoot (with a camera that is...), and generally just get a good feel of where ever I happen to be at that very moment. I much prefer to roam around alone when I travel because of this. Whizzing in & out of a city is not my preferred mode of traveling - I'm indulgent like that.

Anyway, due to this habit of mine, I have the tendency to notice things that sometimes strike me as absolutely strange & fascinating. Every time I hit a new city, I get into this child-like-observer mode and I see things from a completely different point of view cos it's such a rush to be in constant awe of the world! This happens to me even when I return home to my city after a long bout on the road. I love it & highly advocate that everyone roams as much as they can to expand their minds and viewpoints.

So here's what I wanted to share about Singapore. I know, i know...for most of us Malaysians & Indonesians, Singapore is just across the border and it's not exactly the most exotic destination for us. But I challenge you the next time you come here to notice something different and unique about the place & its people. AND you can't steal my observations cos I'm gonna share them here as proof. ;)

1) Queuing at ATM machines...
I mean, NOBODY does it like they do here in Singapore. Imagine, the machine, the person standing at it pressing away on the buttons and about 4-5 feet AWAY to the diagonal right, the line starts. It's so far away, it looks like they are queuing for....i dunno what. Until you realize it only makes sense that it's the ATM because there's nothing else around to queue for, and of course, all the clues lie on the ground. Look for the neatly painted yellow lines. They are everywhere. PS: Understand that in Malaysia, queuing is a foreign concept, especially at the ATMs. The dude behind you is right behind you, if not next to you.

2) The national language...
...is Malay. Do you know anywhere else in the world where the national language is one that the majority of people don't speak nor understand? Yup, only in Singapore. But they do memorize the national anthem in that language, although they don't know what it means. It's so adorable. LOL.

3) The speed limit...
Everyone drives BELOW it. Need I say more?

4) The irrational fear of Malaysian drivers...
More than once, Singaporeans in Singapore have declined my kind offers to send them home in my car (i drive here a lot). And those brave enough to take up my offer (so as not to offend me), kinda look like they desperately want another seat belt on top of the one they so hurriedly strap on the moment their bum lands on my car seats. Hey guys, I'm not offended, just thoroughly amused. And, my driving is awesome as far as I'm concerned. :)

5) Carded everything!
Everything is on a cash card of some sort here. I find that kinda cool. Malaysia is so haphazard in comparison - there we have a choice of 2-3 payment methods, here in Singapore, there's no choice. Get. The. Card. >,<

6) The causeway immigration toilets...
They escort you. No kidding. Why? Same reason they don't have dustbins there, so you don't plant a bomb. I got that from one of the officers on duty when I asked so I solemnly swear, I didn't make that up. Nice service though, cos the officers are usually pretty hot too. Men in uniform, what can I say? ;)

7) The way they cross the road...
Omaigawd. It's always in an "L" shape. Malaysians like me have this uncontrollable urge to just go directly across (aka jaywalk) to exactly where i want to cross to without crossing first to the opposite, then to the opposite of that opposite, etc..but usually my associates will have me on a leash when they walk me in town....so.

8) The walking...
Everywhere is "nearby" to the Singaporeans. 4-inch heels not recommended, especially with luggage. Sigh.

9) The red light district hotels...
Ok, don't ask me how I know. But they have a hotel chain here that gives you a membership if you're a Singaporean/ a PR that saves you SG$10 per night. But if you're not a Singaporean, you'll have to pay extra SG$20 per night and you can't get a membership. My question is if I stay in tiny Singapore, why would I want a membership to a local chain of hotels in the seediest part of town? Oh.

10) The airport...
I found out that the locals here actually take the MRT (monorail train) to Changi airport to just hang out, meet friends, study, and do grocery shopping. Cos it's cheap to get there, there's free aircon and wifi, plus they have everything you need. No, we don't do this in Malaysia - do you guys do this anywhere else in the world?!

And lastly, the people. The people of Singapore is the saving grace of this toy town. They are sweet, sweet, SWEET!!! They are so courteous and hospitable, it's very hard to tell whether you're imposing on them or not. So here's a clue - don't let them overdo on the hospitality, they really live to please and I feel sometimes don't know how to say no, so as the guest - say no for them sometimes ok. With a hug, so they know that it's a sweet, "I-appreciate-you" kinda no.

I've left out the usual stuff that people already know like the fines (yes it's true) and the anti-chewing gum rule (brilliant I think) and all the kiasu jokes. Old stuff. Wanted to check-in with something new for me.

So, here's the challenge, go observe your town or where ever you are with new eyes and absorb the wonder of how interestingly eccentric and diverse humanity is, even in the hometown kampung you grew up in; I promise there's stuff you never noticed before. Everyday, all the time, there's always something fresh that you can capture if you would just slow it down, and look around in wonder. It's fascinating.

If you do blog about it, post your blog link in the comment section below cos I would love to check it out too! :)

The world rocks & it will rock your every moment if you'd just let it!

Have a blessed day! MUAH! XOXO

PS: This post is dedicated to all my beloved Singaporean friends & associates. Feed me more & I'll spread more propaganda for you a'ite? :) Love you guys. xoxo

Long forgotten passions :)

Been away for a bit, busy the whole month with a new relationship, a major event and life in general. Anyway, took up a challenge to get back on stage to perform for this major event - if you didn't know I grew up as a performance artist, dance & song basically, from 4 years old to 18 years old and then shoved my passions on the back-burner because "life got in the way."

Forgot how much I enjoyed performing until this impromptu session last weekend at a talent show during my company's convention. Was completely unprepared, but I enjoyed myself thoroughly anyhow. One thing I did notice was that I have lost all self-consciousness - something that used to hold me back when I was younger and doing a routine/ act that was unfamiliar.

There's a message there for me. I'm glad that I've grown, and ironically it was a reversal to the time when I was a young child - where ego-based self-consciousness was completely not present in my being; and when I did my best work as an artist...because I was just enjoying the groove of indulging in the artform.

I've found that to be true in all activities I take on now, from my communication with others, to my work, and especially as a student of life. It is impossible to learn & do my best in anything when my energy is all wrapped up about how I am coming across/ being perceived by others.

Letting go & going loco - being purely uninhibited and trusting with others, is such a joyful and liberating experience; EVERYONE needs to be ok in their own skin - and the most ironic thing is when you're completely ok with you, everyone else is too - there is no other way.

So BE, live, love, dance & sing! It's a beautiful world, and you're an integral part of all that beauty.

Do tell me what brings YOU joy, thank you for shining!!!!

Namaste!

PS: I went back to ballet class on a whim today - after 14 years of being away, amazed I still have the technique & didn't die halfway through. Ballet is one of the most unforgiving dance disciplines - I so missed it! AND I started recording some song covers & loading them onto my youtube channel. Latest one is called "Lullaby Of Birdland" here

Hope you enjoy it! :)

XOXO

The Definition Of Success

When days are dark, and hopes faltering - read. Be reminded, be refreshed. Give thanks for the great souls that walked this Earth before us, leaving trails of glimmering hope in words penned, on a day such as this, rolling back from the depths of time - coming to you today, to lift you up.

**********************

To laugh often & much,
To win the respect of intelligent people,
And the affection of children,
To earn the appreciation of honest critics,
And endure the betrayal of false friends,
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others,
To leave the world a bit better,
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch or;
A redeemed social condition,
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived,
This is to have succeeded.

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Directed by Love

In honor of a new day & a new journey; I want to share these timelessly beautiful words by the legendary artist, poet & writer ~ Kahlil Gibran.

May your days be drenched in divine love, and remember ~ "...think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course."

So, let go, and let love.

Namaste. xoxo

****************

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself
But if your love and must needs have desires,
Let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook
That sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart
And give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer
For the beloved in your heart
And a song of praise upon your lips.

~ Kahlil Gibran

****************

Love & Expectations

I haven’t seriously dated or had any major romantic connections in about 2 years. Friends were trying to set me up with anything with a pulse and my family was hinting that I was pushing my biological clock. And if you’re wondering what that meant, so am I. :)

Anyway, hanging out only with ex-es, gay best friends, girlfriends, and the people I do business with is probably not helping my romantic prospects. So one of my ex-es pointed out one day in extreme frustration – that while I was always counseling those who come to me for advice to risk their hearts openly, I was not walking my talk. I thought about that seriously, but that was not really the case.

You see, the last serious relationship I had was with a guy I love deeply as a friend and while we were together, we had a difficult and traumatic relationship - one that was destined to push us both to another level of growth, and grow we did. So after exiting a level like that – it was difficult to enter into anything else that lack that depth.

Now, I wasn't doing a complete Rapunzel in the last 2 years though, I did date a couple of times but they pretty much fizzled out quickly and somewhere along the way, I fell in love with someone that was everything I could ever ask for in a partner – but this ideal was just that, because this person was simply just unavailable.

But then I learned how to love someone, without expectations, and without the need of being loved back. And in that beautiful experience, some deep and profound wisdom was unveiled to my heart on the topic of love.

Love. Is there a more divine emotion than this? Yet in manifestation, we find it bastardized as a word by so many, devoid of its essence and a washed-out counterfeit of the original.

While I was deeply entrenched in my relationships, I was one of love’s worst offenders. So after being alone for 2 years, I saw with more clarity how many of the things that couples inflict on each other cannot be further away from the true meaning of what love is.

So this is the one of the things I learned: I messed up many a relationship because of my expectations of my partner, and who I needed them to be. But true love has no expectations. You love that person exactly for who he/ she is and require them to change nothing to deserve your love.

You love them just because loving them gives you immense joy.

Blame games just don’t exist when you really love someone, and the experience of Namaste is real – when you honor the divine in someone else, seeing the best in them and appreciating their beauty without needing to fix them.

My relationships, all of them, really messed up because I was always coming from how my partners were never good enough, never doing enough for me, and never being there for me; etc. Truth is, it has nothing to do with them – but everything to do with me. I was projecting all my issues on my partners, and using, yes USING them to justify my own lack of success & progress in my life.

This is actually how it was: "I" was never good enough for me, "I" never did enough for me, and "I" was never there for myself. And because of all that, I hated myself. That's the painful truth. But because I can't face that I was the one victimizing myself this way, I projected it onto the person most intimate with me.

It was sick. I was sick.

I used my partners as my punching bags and my back doors. And at the bottom of it all, I treated them poorly because I hated who I was being. And maybe, I hated them too in some bizarre way because I don't see how they could actually love me.

What I hated most was recognizing at some core level in my being that I was too chicken shit to fix myself – so I fixated all the issues on something outside of myself. It’s a denial game and one that is both unfair, dishonorable and leads to nothingness, personal devastation, and continuous destruction of my own self-esteem.

How many relationships right now are constructed to exist this way? A vicious cycle of tearing each other down. Don't confuse this for love.

That is not love. That is fear.

So if you’re in a position where you’re making someone a victim of your issues, recognize that and take courage to make some personal changes because there’s no other over it than to grow through it. You owe it to yourself.

And if you’re in the position where you’re a victim of it, know that you are choosing that if you are tolerating it, and recognize that you are not coming from love either. Because if you are not loving yourself, how then are you able to love anyone else?

I learned that everyone gets something out of each other when we choose to be in relationships – and whether you are playing the victim or the oppressor; what you’re settling to get, is really what you think you deserve.

It was such a big issue I saw in myself and such a shock when I recognized it, that I took time out to re-acquaint and love myself first because I couldn’t bear to hurt another person again being the way I was being.

It's such an elusive poison in so many relationships, and people get together to hurt each other, because they forget that love and happiness is not something you get from another person – it’s something you GIVE to another person.

But you need to give it to the most important person in your life first before being able to receive it from anyone else – and that is to give it to you.

XOXO

Live Anyway!

Another amazing anonymous poem I found...Thank you, whoever that wrote this! :)
If you happen to know who wrote this & what its title is, please let me know, would appreciate it - thanks! :)

People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.
Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest person with the biggest ideas can be
shot down by the smallest person with the smallest mind.
Think big anyway.
What you spend years building may
be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack if you help them.
Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have
and you might get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

- Anonymous

The gods are ready to obey...

...let me share another powerful & beautiful poem from someone,
i don't know who wrote this, but it is worthwhile absorbing. Sweet dreams!

"
You will be what you will to be,
Let failure find its false content,
In that poor word "environment",
But spirit scorns it, and is free.

It masters time, it conquers space,
It cows that boastful trickster, "Chance",
And bids the tyrant, "Circumstance",
Uncrown, and fills a servant's place.

The human will, that force unseen,
The offspring of a deathless soul,
Can hew a way to any goal,
Though walls of granite intervene.

Be not impatient of delay,
But wait as one who understands,
When spirit rises & commands,
The gods are ready to obey!
"


Love, joy & peace - Jamie

Dedicated to those I love.

"
To laugh often & much,
To win the respect of intelligent people,
And the affection of children,
To earn the appreciation of honest critics,
And endure the betrayal of false friends,
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others,
To leave the world a bit better,
Whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch, or
A redeemed social condition.
To know that even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
"
~ Harry Emerson Fosdick

I forget the title of this beautiful piece, but read it from my journal often to keep me happy. I dedicate this now to all the wonderful people I work with closely everyday - you are each, more than just my business partners, but over the last few years grown to be great friends, honest critics, supportive mentors & as close as family now to me.

This piece reminds me of how we always are now with each other, you guys know who you are. And I'm contented to know that we each seem to live more & more like what's described above. Thank you for being you, the joy i have received in growing to know you is boundless, and the freedom to just be who i am at all times with you is pure bliss.

And now I am kept awake, thinking - So, this is love....

It is indeed an exquisite place to be. But more than that, now I know - it's empowering to strive towards success on my own, but walking that journey together and getting there - now, that's heaven! ;)

"I'd rather die on my feet, than live on my knees."

Originally wrote this on Thursday, October 2, 2008 at 5:56pm

While cleaning out my old stuff, I stumbled across this article I had since I was 11 or 12. I used to read it every single day. :)

I would like to thank my visionary dad who gave it to me then - not ever doubting whether I could understand it or not. Well i didn't of course in the beginning, these are not things you just understand - you kinda have to grow into it & keep reminding yourself about it, I'm convinced now that this is a lifelong practice....

Anyway, it's an apt one to come across at this precise moment in my life - those of you who know what I am going through now will understand what I mean.

And for those of you who don't - it doesn't matter, as it is relevant to anyone, anytime. I hope it brings you back to a place where no difficult circumstances, adversity & blow from life can ever touch - like it just did me, and renew you from within.

To you with love, Jamie

*************************************

Courage
by William Penn Patrick

Why is it that most men's lives are controlled by small & petty circumstances? I am saddened as I watch people lose the good & great things that are within their reach and could be theirs with "but a little act of courage"!

The mediocre man, "Average Man", is the one I speak of here. He is the one who has so little self-esteem that he cannot trust his own thoughts and judgments, but in the final analysis must rely upon outside sources for his decisions.

This is the man who is ruled by the mob, or who accepts all that he reads as truth and finally becomes like the mob. This is the man who has some degree of success only when he is caught upon the crest of a wave generated by the few exceptional self-directed individuals.

This is the man who has a positive attitude for that moment he is in the presence of positive individuals, but when left alone, "falls to his negative knees". This is the man who sells his birthright (commitment to his own thoughts) for fear of what he thinks his neighbor might think. This is the man who stands tall as he is prompted by the actions of the mob, but is terrified with the silence of his own presence.

This is the man who follows but fears to lead. This is the man who hides his deeds in the cloak of nobility, since his dishonesty prevents him from dealing with truth and reality. This is the man who cries "foul" when life has passed him by.

This is the man who is ruled by circumstance.

Strong men create circumstances which serve their needs and desires. If you are a man of circumstance, the cure for this disease is courage.

Courage is the most beautiful of all human expressions. Courage as I see it is, "an act in the face of fear". We only need courage when we are afraid, which means that we need courage most of the time, because we are afraid of something all of the time.

I have discovered that fear becomes a coward when faced with but a small act of courage, and further, that the muscle of courage will grow strong with continued use.

My advice to myself is, "do those things which you fear, and keep doing them until you are no longer afraid, and then you will have become the master of your fate."

I have studied the deeds of men both great and small, and I have studied those men who are great and small. In this study there appears to be many differences. All of the differences which count have, at their base, one single thing - courage.

Courage is that one ingredient which separates the weak from the strong, the successful from the weak, the great from the average.

All the things you desire in life have one common handle, which is made for the hand of the man of courage.

To be afraid is to be alive. To act against that fear is to be a man.

Someone once said, "I had rather die on my feet, than live on my knees."

- William Penn Patrick

I remember...

The touch of your breathe on my skin,
The taste of your scent on my tongue;
Heat-filled nights, being held in your arms,
My cheek on your chest, your kiss in my hair;
Falling into the carefree abandon of contented sleep,
Legs entangled, fingers entwined,
Meeting…in the dreams of the innocent,
Waking to the dappling of the sunlight,
Dancing across your curling eyelashes,
Resting on your cheek, stopping;
At the corner of your smile...
Will we again encounter this bliss,
Or forever, file it into the fibers of our being,
Just a memory coded, for an eternity of replays
But never again recreated, having become too precious
To expose, to the shifting nuances of tomorrow.

**********

What I write when I am melancholy & nostalgic.

XOXO

Desired Things...

I was 18, and unaware that I was about to fall head over heels in love with an amazing guy.

What gave me the courage to embark on one of the sweetest & most memorable relationships of my life was when he gave me this poem, handwritten on a piece of foolscap paper when I was going through some rough times.

So - to he that knows who he is, thank you for sharing with me such wise words although we were so young, I find I appreciate it more & more as I grow older; and for everyone else, do share it with someone you love. It is truly beautiful & inspired.

Have a blessed day -
x - JL

***********

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Come from Love.

...when I experience emotional pain & have to submerge the urge to lash out reflectively - I turn to an important and grace saving message from the Divine to guide me out of anger.

Tonight i am moved to share these words of pure wisdom from 1 Corinthians 13:4,
probably my favorite verse from the Christian Bible -

"
Love is patient,
Love is kind,
It does not envy,
It does not boast,
It is not proud,
It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs,
Love does not delight in evil,
But rejoices with the truth,
It always protects,
Always trusts,
Always hopes,
Always perseveres,
Love never fails.
"

...so i ask myself often - where do I choose to come from, love or fear?

Reading this always help me remember what coming from love really means,
hence I give thanks for divine guidance in my darkest & most lonely hours.

I pray it serves you the same way it has served me for so many years.

Much love XOXO

Trust - My Fall Into The Unknown

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Haven’t posted in the last 2 days because I was away at a leadership camp up in the hills somewhere in the heart of Peninsular Malaysia. I’ve been to many and what I always love about camps/ sessions like these are the experiential elements of learning about how I actually operate in my life.

If I had to choose, I’ll always advocate an experiential type camp over a lecture-type training session simply because of the depth of learning that going through games and exercises with almost full-senses stimulation can deliver, versus just intellectual stimulation of classroom lecture sessions.

And if you’re game to face up to who you really are so that you can use that to adjust or propel yourself to the next level in your life – these are the best places to meet the most important person in your life.

You.

And sometimes, you’re not as pretty as you thought.

But that’s the point. Because without truth as a basis, anything you build in your life will be on quicksand and won’t be able to weather very many storms.

So when my company launched this camp as an initiative to develop teamwork, bonding, and self-exploration for the local leadership here – I jumped at the opportunity to advocate this strongly to my team.

But mostly, I knew it was for me. I needed a tune-up, an alignment in my own direction, an opportunity to learn while I played and to completely PARTICIPATE instead of the running the events like I usually do.

And while I learned many awesome things about myself – it wasn’t the awesome stuff that lead to the breakthroughs; I was tuned the whole weekend to catch the scary, painful, dark parts of who I am being so that I can expose it to the light of truth and get through it.

So this post I’m not going to regale you with how we played to win in everything (and my team came out overall champs too) or how powerful it is to see teamwork in action, etc.

Nope, I’m not going there – I appreciate those glorious moments with my amazing team, but I’m in the mood for some grit now.

There were 2 exercises that really hit me in the gut from this camp, that revealed things about myself to me that I have not realized nor made me proud about who I was being. Things I missed in the midst of my busyness and striving to keep things running and thriving for the last couple of years. This post I’ll talk about one.

The first was a game called the “Trust Fall”. Now, if you’ve gone to similar camps like this, this might be familiar to you – there are variations but still the point of the lesson is still the same. It’s about how to let go & just trust your team to catch you when you fall.

The one that the camp chief used for this game was to stack up 5 or 6 banquet chairs, get a bunch of your team mates to stand behind and using their hands only - catch you when you fall. Backwards, from the top of the chair – hands crossed in front of your chest. So, when he was explaining it – it wasn’t that scary, and one of my team mates did this exercise falling from a 5-storey building, face first, into a net held by 6 people and nothing else. So, this falling off 4-5 ft from the chair thing into about 10-15 people behind you didn't sound so bad.

Until it was my turn to get on the chair.

Geez. All my beliefs about how bold and brave I was – went out the window. I’m not that tall, but at 5’6” standing with my back to the unknown and just falling. My knees were shaking. Badly.

I messed it up completely. I fell the first time and my knees gave way, so it bent before I fell. Which just means I didn’t embody the point of the exercise – to just trust and fall. So, I did it again. Better result, but just as scary – I was still not trusting.

And while I supported every fall of my teammates by standing right up front, my mind was racing while my heart pumped in my chest. I can’t believe it. I knew I had trust issues but I didn’t realize they were this deep and still so real for me. And while I had no problems supporting the fall of others, it hit me straight in the face that I had deep, ingrained beliefs that no one can support my fall. That I had to do everything myself and I was afraid to really trust anyone with my heart or my life. That was the truth.

Were my beliefs justified? Well, yes, and no.

Yes because like anyone else, I have been let down many times, by the people closest to me on many occasions – betrayals, broken promises, heartbreaks, instability of convictions, etc. And many times I have chosen to pick up the pieces on my own. Sometimes, when it was proven to be unsalvageable, I walked away. So I developed this complex where no one can be trusted.

And no, because the truth is that it wasn’t about me. They were just going on their paths and choosing to do what they felt was best for them. So it wasn’t personal at all. I know that for a fact, because I wasn’t spared the verdict of having let other people down in my life either. I have, many times too.

But that I wasn’t able to allow myself to trust 100% has many implications towards the quality of my life. I wouldn’t be able to grow my business as fast, because I wouldn’t allow others to really support me; I wouldn’t be able to let someone love me because he’ll break my heart when he has access to it; I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the strength of a man to show up and take care of me, because I insist on being more masculine than him; the leadership in my team would not be able to flourish because it gets strangled off; my ability to let go and just play 100%; and so much more.

Incidentally, I am just allowing myself to fall in love with someone after a 2-year hiatus from romantic relationships – and it’s scary as hell. So it’s no coincidence that this exercise came into my life at this point as well.

Being 100% vulnerable and trusting is probably one of the lessons I’ve been dealing with for the last 10 years, and it is critical for 100% raw and connected living.

And while personal strength and fortitude is one of my strongest character traits, it’s truly a hollow and counterfeit version if it is not backed-up with the ability to really allow myself to be vulnerable and trusting in the people around me.

So wish me courage to – I’m going to work on really integrating this lesson into my life, because I made a pact with myself a long time ago that I’d rather be dead than to live holding back in any way.

I wish you the same too – be blessed, live from your heart.

XOXO

Why I advocate Randy Gage.

If you guys have ever wondered why I advocate Randy Gage (Fan Page here) so vocally; this might give you an idea if you have yet to discover his work yourself.

I respected the guy from his work before I met him in the flesh sometime in 2007, and then I fell in love with him as a person when I had the honor to get to know & learn from him.

And it's not just because he's rich, famous, and hot. That helps. BUT....

...it's really because he does what he does, and who he always chooses to be.

So, in his honor and in contribution to you, I've re-posted below one of the MOST inspired articles I've seen my mentor write. Or you can go to the actual blog post on his site here where you can also read all the readers' comments; just as valuable.

Where ever you choose to read this, read it till the end, because you'll remember what it means to be alive. It will touch your soul - regardless of whether you are in MLM or NOT, I PROMISE you'll know why he's so loved by those who work with him, and why he is THE MLM rockstar. TQ rocksta, you're a gem!

PS: Get on both his mailing lists, he blogs voraciously on Prosperity here and also on Network Marketing here; and it's ALWAYS worth investing the time to read it. You'll be enriched boundlessly.

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Don’t You Dare Give Up!

By Randy Gage
February 26th, 2010

It’s 5 am and I should be sleeping. But I’ve been tossing and turning for over an hour thinking about what I wanted to say to you. It’s about the work you do and the dreams you want to live…

In our business we can earn a lot of money, win those trips to exotic locales, and drive those gorgeous bonus cars. We have the chance to really get our freedom.

But that’s the thing about freedom. It’s never free…

Freedom is the by product of success and you must be willing to pay the price for success. And success never goes on sale. You have to pay the market price. And that can be so very hard…

I know. I struggled for five years in this business. Sacrificed things to buy my monthly product order. Alienated everyone around me, pestering them to join my business. Argument after argument.

Because I could explain all the rational, logical reasons everyone should be in the business. And if you wanted to argue with me, I could explain all the reasons you were being an idiot.

For some reason that approach didn’t work very well. So I switched to strategy number two…

Begging. But that approach didn’t work much better. So for five years I went to presentation after presentation, bought tape after tape, attended meeting after meeting. I talked about traveling the beaches of the world, while I parked my broken down junk heap in the back, so no one would see what I was driving.

I remember the first house meeting I did. Invited about 14 or 15 people and waited, brimming over with excitement. Of course you know what happened…

No one. Not one.

Common sense tells you I should have quit. But dreams never come true with common sense. Dreams come true because they are bold, daring, and imaginative. Because they are strong enough to pull you toward them.

I could have quit, should have quit, would have quit. But I came to a realization that changed everything for me: I realized I was the most ambitious person I knew.

And there was freedom in that line of thinking. Which eventually led to the real freedom.

I wish I could say after five years I magically flipped a switch and became rich, but that isn’t true. But things started to change…

I began to understand the importance of a system and how duplication worked. Began daily self-development, becoming less of the person people didn’t want to work with and more of the person they did. Learned some skill sets.

And today I have those exotic cars, live in my dream homes, contribute to charities in a meaningful way, earn millions of dollars and have my freedom. And while I appreciate the money, toys and trips, it’s about a lot more than that.

Which is why I’m writing you…

I have been where most of you are, and made it to the level most are even afraid to dream of. So let me share what I have learned along the way, but most importantly, what I want for you. Here are the four things I want for you:

1) Live a Life of Adventure.

Stop watching actors live adventure in movies and TV shows. It’s time for you to live your own adventure.

I have flown the Concord, prayed in the Crystal Cathedral, fallen in love in Paris, taken a shower on the A380 airplane, flown in a hot air balloon, watched whales playing in Hawaii, meditated in a Shaolin Temple, piloted an airplane, rode an elephant through the rainforest in Thailand, visited all the world’s greatest opera houses, watched a ballgame in Wrigley Field, rode horses through the mountains, and heard the call to worship at mosques in Istanbul. And I’m just getting started…

Is your adventure started yet? Life is not about fighting rush hour traffic, working in a cubicle, or sending your kids to daycare. Life is for living. And that means you.

2) Get Your Freedom.

See number one. You are not meant to be woken up with an alarm clock. You are supposed to wake up when you finish sleeping. When you wake up, you should be the one to choose how you are going to spend your day, and whom you are going to spend it with. You’re supposed to order from the left side of the menu, not the right side.

Freedom is about having choices. Whether it’s choosing what car to drive, home to live in, or exotic locale you want to vacation in.

It’s about choosing the causes to support, the school you want your kids to go to, and the people you want in your life. Choosing to live out loud, in color, with passion.

3) Right Injustice.

How often have you seen a situation that wasn’t right and felt powerless to stop it? How many times have you wanted to right a wrong, but didn’t have the time or money or freedom to do it?

I’ve been able to right many an injustice. But I couldn’t do that much when I was trapped and broke. I can now because I am free.

Want to do a mission in the Philippines, help the starving kids in Africa, or the earthquake victims in Haiti? Do what you can now, but to really make a meaningful difference, you probably need time, money and freedom. Which leads us to…

4) Move from Success to Significance

I’m a former minimum wage dishwasher who became a multi-millionaire. I am truly blessed. And yes I appreciate the cars, homes and money this business has brought me. That satisfies you for a while. But then you want more…

You want to make a difference. Leave a legacy. Build something that outlives you.

That’s when life really begins. That’s when you know the world is a better place because you are in it. And when be a better place even after you’re gone.

Whether it’s supporting the arts, building an orphanage, or saving the rainforest. Maybe it’s sponsoring a Little League team, mentoring a young person, or starting a shelter for battered women. Or all of the above.

I don’t know what is in your heart to do, but I know there is something. And that’s what I challenge you to do. Yes I wish freedom, lifestyle and all the goodies for you. And I also wish you love, meaning and leading a life of significance.

It won’t be easy; I get that. It means sacrifice.

Because it means at 7 pm, when your spouse is home and your kids want to play, you’re leaving to go to a meeting. It means you’ll miss a chance to worship some weekends when you’re working with a long distance line somewhere. It means making those calls to candidates long after the excitement and motivation of the big event has worn off.

But I had a mantra that got me free. And it can get you free. Here it is:

“I will do today what others will not do, so tomorrow I can do what others cannot do.”

Will you do that for me? Will you do that for yourself? Will you do that for all the people you’re going to be able to help?

The pain of discipline is far easier than the pain of regret. When you feel fear, you must profess faith. Because faith is deaf, dumb and blind.

Faith is deaf to rejection, dumb to failure, and blind to the possibility of defeat. Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. It is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

We can’t see them, but we have a vision for them. That is why we do self-development every morning, speak those affirmations, put up those pictures on the refrigerator.

Doing what we do is not easy. It’s not supposed to be. But it is simple. And important. Not just for your freedom and your dreams, but the freedom and dreams of everyone you will make a difference for. Most people today doubt their beliefs and believe their doubts. You have to be different.

Please. Don’t you dare take down your dream board or those pictures on your refrigerator. Don’t you dare let your spouse or kids see you quit. Don’t you dare give up on your dreams!

That’s what I want to tell you this morning.

If you need help, get over to Amazon and pick up a couple of my books. For training in the skill sets necessary for success, get the new edition of my book, “How to Build a Multi-Level Money Machine” here.

If you have worthiness issues, or think you may be self-sabotaging your success, get, “Why You’re Dumb, Sick & Broke…And How to Get Smart, Healthy & Rich!” here.

If you don’t have enough room on your credit card right now, get them from the library. But get them. Because the dream really is real. I’m living proof of that. And it can be real for you.

You’re worth it. You really are. When you first looked at this wild, crazy business, you saw something. Felt something. Knew something.

Something spoke to you, and reawakened dreams you hadn’t thought about in a long time. And introduced new ones.

Live those dreams. That is my dream for you.

-RG

P.S. I hope you’ll share this message to everyone on your team. Please Re-tweet it, share it on Facebook, start an email chain to your group. What you do is important. It’s about all the things we discussed: living a life of adventure, helping people get free, righting injustice and doing something of significance. Never forget that.

Just Listen.

I just got back from a dinner appointment, and while in the car talking to my girlfriend, my phone rang. It was not a saved number, and it was exactly 11.53pm. That's late to call, even for me. But because it was an unsaved number, I answered it.

This guy's voice asked for me and then said his first name. I had no recollection who this person was, so I probed him further and finally he gave me enough details for me to remember. He was a friend of a friend, that attended one of our business talks months ago and later I remembered listening to his story over supper. It was an unhappy one.

I inquired about his reason for calling, and he said it was his birthday today.

Well...not often people call to tell me that it's their birthday; but what he told me after that completely humbled me. He said thank you, because on Jan 12th, a Wednesday night he said; when we met and he told me his life story - he was ready to commit suicide when he went home that night because his girlfriend left him for someone else.

But he spoke to me, and what I said to him gave him hope that his life was worth living - so I am special to him because he wouldn't be able to celebrate another year if I hadn't listened and talked to him that night so many months ago.

Now, for the life of me, I can't remember that story in detail and for sure, I don't remember what I said.

But I do remember being in the presence of someone who was genuinely hurt, confused and lost. I have long given up the habit of buying into people's dramas because it was not only a time-sucker but also an energy-sucker. But this man that night was desperately grasping at something to remind him that he was enough. Just by him being himself. And that no one other person can ever define or devalue his worth as a human being no matter what they did. I guess I was that person that night.

In my eyes, I didn't do anything special. I just listened and reminded him of the truth about who he is.

But tonight after that call, I may be the one that was given the most precious gift of all. The reminder on how important it is to just be fully present - listening & really seeing the person that you're with. No judgments, no solutions - just listen.

So in honor of my friend - please do that every moment you're with someone. You might save a life.

Happy birthday Michael, may your life be a continuous blessing to all you touch.

XOXO

A Tribute To Persephone

A poem i wrote a long time ago, I must have been 18 or something. At that point in time I was obsessed studying Greek mythology. Hence, this was inspired by the age-old Greek love story between Persephone & Hades. This is the mythological explanation on why there are 4 seasons in the world.

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"
once upon a time, the old hag muttered;
when the earth was new, and the skies were fresh with misty dew
when the gods & goddesses walked amongst men,
and the people knew not cold nor hunger
or snowcapped hills
the world knew only the season spring
for flowers bloomed all year round
and food and wheat sprouted from the ground
hunger and poverty? there was no such thing,
till Hades he caused a mother's wrath
when he stole a lovely maiden in his path
the maiden he made his dark land's queen
the mother she pined and would not be seen
hence for three months in twelve the earth shall weep
while persephone in hell she sleeps
and when she returns to her mother's arms
the earth rejoiced for the return of demeter's charms
for now all is well again on the land
flowers & fruit & wheat for man
spring is here when she returns,
and as the time passes into summer
the feast is slowed by a mere glimmer
and when the autumn winds blow in
the land it cries for Hade's selfish sin
for persephone must now return
to once again sit where fires burn
and winter will now blister the earth
till persephone returns to her mother's hearth.
"

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When the planets align...

Found this somewhere online months ago & fell in love with it. Have kept it near me ever since.

Poetry moves me in ways that I can't describe. The poet is a true master of the word and has the power to wield magical sensations with it.

If anyone knows who I can credit this to, please comment below ~ much appreciated.

Now, absorb & enjoy:

**************************************

Two shall be born the whole wide world apart,
And speak in different tongues, and take no thought;
Each of the others' being, and no heed.
And these o'er unknown seas to unknown lands,
Shall cross, escaping wreck, defying death;
And all unconsciously shape every act,
And bend each wandering step unto this end,
That one day out of darkness they shall meet,
And read life's meaning in each other's eyes.

The Point Of Climbing A Mountain ~ Part 2: 10 Life Lessons I Learned

Continued...

PS: Click here to read the story leading to this post.

***

So, what's the point of climbing a mountain anyway?

That's really what I asked myself as I started back down, one of the last 4 people to descend this mountain that day, resigned that for the next couple of hours - I have to surrender to doing what it takes to get back to civilization.

Some profound life lessons reached my tired mind on my descend - this is what I've learned going up and down this mountain for a total of 22 hours:-

1) Don't bring unnecessary baggage - the less baggage you choose to take along with you, the easier the journey is. And if you have to, get someone to help you carry it. Literally & metaphorically speaking.

2) Take it at your own pace. You are competing with no one, not even yourself. There is just a task, and once on the path, the task is to complete the task. No matter how long it takes. There is no timer except the one you set in your head. Throw it away. It'll drive you nuts.

3) Don't talk to anyone turning back to ask why. It's obvious. They gave up. If you wanna get to the top, you don't need to hear stories on why someone chose to give up. Especially when you can hardly breathe yourself.

4) You can make it halfway on your own, but to really get to the top - you need help from those that are more experienced than you. Don't be afraid to ask for it & when offered, don't be too proud to receive it. This reminds me of what my mentor Randy Gage says: “You can't improve and look good at the same time.”

5) When the going gets excruciatingly tough - stop, breathe, and take in the beauty of the scenery. The backdrop to this climbing journey was breath taking. So is the backdrop to your life journey.

6) Frustrations come from unfounded expectations & the need to know. Surrender to the moment, and take each step at a time. I learned this trying to figure out what's next in the climb. I gave it up after hitting rock walls over and over again. I'll climb it if it's in front of me. Until then, I'm just taking this next step and that’s enough. Have faith on the path.

7) Equip yourself with the right tools. Sustenance for your body, tools for leveraging and easing the climb, peace for your mind, and strength for the spirit. I took FLX & OHM all the way, had that 2 walking sticks, took everything one step at a time, and listened to inspirational stuff on my iPhone iPod.

8) Appreciate the people around you. Everyone's presence including yours, make a difference. We need each other for inspiration and encouragement. I was inspired to see how Sunny's will overcame the painful fact that he tore his kneecap on the way up, and climbed back down anyway - with NO complaints! The success of others is your success too, for we are all inter-connected on an energy level. Protect & nurture that.

9) Prepare & train! Pay the price before, or else, pay the price plus interest on the climb.

10) Work with the terrain - adjust to foreign landscapes in order to survive or thrive in it. Coming from nothing is the least painful way to learn this lesson.

After this experience, I am dead serious that this is my first and last mountain climb. However, I am grateful to have experienced it for it taught me much about life and success, as well as revealed to me who I can be. It wouldn't have been the same if I read these concepts off a book.

Agel Malaysia has decided to do this annually. It is for an amazing cause that helps less fortunate kids, so if you want to pitch yourself for a great cause - let me know. I'll be most happy to get you connected and send you off. :)

To my climb mates, you guys rock! To Billy, thanks for inspiring this post – you’re right, I'm glad I recorded this down for posterity. And to everyone else, I know it’s a super long post so thanks for reading y'all.

Here's to you conquering all the mountains in your lives!

xoxo
Jamie


PS: If you'd like to contribute to this cause that we are climbing for, please go to Agel Cares Foundation & make a donation. Every cent counts. Much appreciated! xoxo

The Point Of Climbing A Mountain ~ Part 1: The Prelude

Wrote this post originally on Thursday, December 16, 2010 at 2:57am - as a note in my Facebook account here.

This is a story, so it's very long by the way. So I decided to split it up into 2 parts. This is Part 1: the story & prelude; and Part 2: The 10 Life Lessons I Learned from this climb.

So if you want to just get STRAIGHT to the lessons I learned by climbing this mountain, go to the second continuing post. But the story is a fun way to lead into it, you can always come back too. Also, photos for this climb here.

So here we go....

***
The Point Of Climbing A Mountain

So the truth is, I've been procrastinating on writing this post. I'm not the blogging type & getting started with it was difficult. But I promised my friend, Billy Looper - an awesome dude from Fort Lauderdale USA, a couple of months ago that I would post something to share my journey climbing a mountain in Borneo island earlier this year.

Reason for the delay: Well, re-living the climb is not one of those things that would warm my heart. So here it is & I'll start where it's always best to start, at the beginning.

Fact: I'm diva-ish. I like gel extension nails and my ideal way to wash my hair is at the salon, all the time, no exceptions. But this is not saying that I can't take the rough & tumble parts of life; I can - but why should I? However, I know now if I'm thrown into the wild - I will survive & can probably find a way to thrive too.

So when my company's country manager Sunny decided that we will climb Mount Kinabalu in Sabah, Borneo; to raise funds for our charity foundation, Agel Cares - I did what I was expected to do as one of the senior people in the field teams. Support the program 100% and signed up to climb this mountain.

I was told that it is 4,095m (13,435 ft) in elevation - and it was just as well I have no idea what that actually translates to in reality. I ain't so hot at metrics. I kinda can convert up to inches, then I need my widget on my iPhone.

That was May 2010 this year. I got the dates, and locked it down in to my schedule. So this was how it was gonna be: April: Fort Lauderdale-Florida; April/ May: Cairo-Egypt, Early May: Climb The Mountain; Mid-May: Bangkok-Thailand; Mid-mid-May: Jakarta-Indonesia; May-June: Indonesia multi-city road trip, and it went on. I can do this. Yeah.

Someone said something about training, but I figured dragging my over-sized luggage around airports in 4-inch heels alone for months should more than compensate for whatever cardio training I needed to do this mountain. No problem.

So the day came, and we flew to Kota Kinabalu, the beautiful capital city of the state of Sabah - a state that is nicknamed The Land Below The Wind. Kota Kinabalu is the only state in Malaysia to have the mountain and the beach in close proximity within each other. A must-visit place. It's magical.

We did an event in KK and then made our way to the foot of the mountain in a chartered van. We had a fun group of people, from around Malaysia and the USA. There were about 13 of us if my memory serves me. The first part of the journey was absolute chillax. Van took us to this base camp hotel, we stayed the night - the food was yums. Even though the bathrooms are communal dorm-style, it was clean and hot water was gushing out. Nice. I can do this climbing thing. :)

Next morning after breakfast, we were driven to the entrance of the gate that will mark the commencement of our ascent up the mountain. We had to climb 6km through tropical rainforest-type foliage, and then we will reach the base camp somewhere halfway up. There we will have dinner, sleep for a couple of hours and get up at 2am to hike 2.8km to the top of the mountain to Low's Peak (highest point) before sunrise. The idea is to catch the sunrise.

I'm throwing in the spoiler now - I didn't make the sunrise. LOL.

Anyway, we set out as a troupe. And some of us paid for porter services to help carry our bags while we climbed. I highly recommend hiring their services. Really. These are guys who make a living running up & down this mountain with baggage double their weight, in Japanese slippers. I'll still be in the mountain if not for my porter. Get yourself 2 bamboo walking sticks also - these are important if you don't want to thrash your knees coming down the mountain later.

So we set out and as we hiked, I found myself hiking alone almost all the way & I was enjoying myself. It was peaceful. The first couple of kilometers were relatively easy. There were distance markers all the way up every 500m, and I looked forward to reaching each one. The scenery was pure magic. Plus I was thoroughly amused that I had 3G mobile broadband access on my iPhone, so I was posting photos all the way up on Facebook. Amazing!

And then, all of a sudden it got difficult and tiring. And cold. And the air was getting thinner. The inclines got steeper. I'd climb a wall of rocks (almost 90 degrees) - to face...yet another wall of rocks. And this went on, and on, and on. And it was driving me nuts. Because I had no clue what was coming next. Plus I was getting extremely tired. I looked forward more for the next marker board.

Halfway up, I saw people climbing down. They were returning from their climb up to the peak from the day before. And then it strikes me like a bolt of lightning. Omaigawd. I had to climb back DOWN.

Why. Am. I. Doing. This. Again?!

There are only 3 ways down this mountain - 1) hire a helicopter for US$6k per trip, 2) hire 4 of these porters to carry you down (not kidding - they charge by kg), or 3) climb back down yourself. That's it. No cable car, no secret passage road, no zip line, nada.

3 things kept me going - 1) I've started on the path, so turning back made no sense to me, 2) I witnessed 4 of these porters carrying a 120kg fridge up the 90 degree slope – if they can do that, I can carry myself up for sure, and 3) I have to climb down anyway eventually. Grrr. But from that point onwards, I had no clue why I was doing this except for the charity foundation - a reason that gets less plausible the higher I went. I mean, I could have just raised funds without torturing myself yes?

Anyway, I reached the base camp in 5 hours 30 minutes, second after the troupe's fittest supermen - Alvis & Mica. It had started to drizzle about 30 minutes before I got in to the base camp, and they were getting worried that it would pour while the rest were not yet in to shelter. I was too vaguely, but all I wanted was to get something hot into my stomach. I was surprised so many have yet to arrive, I was drenched and shivering. It was getting dark & a storm was imminent.

One-by-one our party came trouping in to the camp, everyone pale & breathless. Then it really started to pour and we still had 4 more caught outside. The trek up wasn't friendly - we could only pray that they were safe. Finally everyone arrived, and we had a quick dinner, got prepped for the night climb and went to bed.

1.30am the alarm went off. I couldn't fathom why I had to drag my bruised body out of the dorm bed...but I was rushed to meet the rest of the party leaving the camp for the rest of the hike. In my mind, if I could handle 6km in 5 & half hours ok, the 2.8km to the peak should take half the time, no problem.

I'm glad I was born an optimist.

I was so wrong. The hike up to the peak was pure torture. It was pitch black, the air was so excruciatingly thin, I was feeling faint (something about high elevation dizziness), and we had to do tons of vertical & horizontal rope-work in the dark, it was drizzling heavily & super cold. I'm a tropical weather kinda chick - my idea of the great outdoors is the beach & the ocean. This is not my scene. Every 2 steps I took, I stopped to take 10 deep breathes. Did I mention, this is the first time I'm climbing a mountain? Anyway, I had an amazing person with me, Ganesan. If not for him, I am seriously not sure I would have made it. He pushed me all the way.

Because of me, this poor dude missed catching the sunrise from the peak. Public apology here my friend. 3/4 way up the 2.8km of Star Wars-like rock-land, the sun came up. That's about 6am. So that's the actual time we were supposed to reach the TOP of the peak. Obviously not happening. We finally got up there around 8.30am. Yup, you got it. I took 6 hours 30 minutes to hit the top of Low's Peak. By then, everyone's gone back down and there was no one around. Good news - I got there & we didn't have to fight anyone for a great view. Bad news - I've lost all bragging rights, AND now we've got to climb back down.

But, I was glad to have made it to the top. I saw people at the base of Low's Peak turning back & climbing down. I don't get it. It's like 800m more - and after all that torture getting so far, to quit. But many did that all the way up the last 2.8km. They just gave up, so close to their goal.

So, what's the point of climbing a mountain?

Check out the 10 Life Lessons I Learned from climbing this mountain in the continuing post....